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Monday, February 25, 2013

The naiveté and the Guru

Gtalk. Virat is waiting for his online date and junior in college Shyamolie.

Smiley: Viruuuuuu!

Iceberg: Just Virat thanks.  And we were talking bout...

Smiley: Lol! about? :-p

Iceberg: Tell me, do u think your sex life after marriage will sort itself out Just like that..?

Smiley: Me and my husband to be both of us would have some needs.

Iceberg: Exactly.

Smiley: I have no clue but they say I have great appetite for sex. Though I obviously tend to curb my desires etc. :-D

Iceberg: Who Says?  And how do they know?

Smiley: I mean my ex and a few other men I have known or who have known me :) Like through spending time close to each other and all even if you avoid penetration you can still understand na?

Iceberg: Hahaha. You’re cute. Sorry but it’s really funny.

Smiley: what? funnnnyyyy???????  How so?

Iceberg: Okay tell me this how far have you gone with some one?

Smiley: no way! I shan't tell you Do you feel bad?

Iceberg: Nah I don’t feel bad, Let me guess, second base with a little petting
I cud make out your virgin with the way u write. U write well but u have certain innocence about your lines.

Smiley: how could you guess that via my writings?  Impressive:-p

Iceberg: A certain naivete

 Smiley: but I am not exactly that because I gain my experiences through reading OK?

Iceberg: Well you’re 21 now maybe it’s time have your own experiences. 

Smiley: tell me something.

Iceberg: what?

Smiley: how could you tell through my poems?

 Iceberg: Tell what?

Smiley: how can anybody say am innocent through my writings?

Iceberg: Are you being sarcastic?

Smiley: Why would I? I want to know. Tell meeeeeee! Virat!

Iceberg: Well no one writes that way anymore, the Emily Bronte Wuthering heights style. If u weren’t naive your Victorian style of writing would be peppered with a little more pragmatism. Sort of like a lot more Sylvia Platt. Then I realised u were Victorian bout sex but not about relationships and it made sense.

Smiley: so sweet

Iceberg: And only a virgin would glorify her first time. 

Smiley: what? Meaning? Say it!

Iceberg: Shut up man! Am in a bus standing and typing!

Iceberg: meaning my very naive friend. That everyone who has had sex knows that the worst time is short, painful and highly overrated.

Smiley: wow. Okay 

Iceberg: Only someone who’s not had sex would talk about "giving in body and soul"

Smiley: hahaha!  You make me laugh 

Iceberg: Am glad. It’s like you’re expecting a mills and boons novel when in actuality sex is a XXX film, messy and painful at least at first.
After that it’s what you and your partner make it.

Smiley: omg! Maybe... Am sure as hell it hurts too much, physically lesser than mentally if done with a wrong person. Am I wrong? 

Iceberg:  Yes you are wrong 

Smiley:  really? Can you explain? 

Iceberg:  It will hurt either ways. And the right person will realise this and know when to back off. Also he will try his utmost to keep u completely at ease But it will still hurt. Slowly the pain will be more bitter sweet and later if u do it right it will be only pleasure 

Smiley:  wow! Makes so much sense! :)